Fullmetal Collision
by HarutaYari
Summary: Raya never intended to be a follower, but when the military sends her on a certain year assignment, she'll have to follow a certain shortie. Will Raya push Ed over the edge, or will she bring out a side of himself he tries to hide. R&R please!
1. Collision of the calla lily

**Haru: Howdy! This story contains a mixture of the manga (brotherhood anime series), the original series, and my own creative twists. Therefore there may be absence of certain characters or plot lines. Some I will explain, others I will leave to your imagination. Thank you ^.^ **

**Also big thank you to my beta Melodie! Seriously guys there would be no story without her and she deserves a round of applause ^.^**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA **

As much as it pains me to admit, I have never had the military mentality. It works for some people. They have that cold and strong notion that they always have to be better, that there is no second best. That means always looking out for number one, always following orders, always hiding emotion, always staying strong. Never break down. Never question authority. Never question life.

But as I stood there in the cemetery, clad in black, I started to question everything. The cliché "why me?" rang over and over in my head. Everyone around me was a broken record; "I'm so sorry," they would say. Some said it with regret, others with the sympathy of a brick wall. They were sorry huh? Sorry for what? Sorry that I had lost both parents when I was barely a decade old? Sorry that they were at a loss about what to do with me?

The last thing I wanted was more apologies.

"Raya…" I did not turn my attention away from the grave. I had assumed everyone would have been long gone by now and I'd taken that opportunity to be alone with the grave.

"Major Armstrong," I said flatly to the bulky man behind me. He was sniffling and sighing as silently as he could, which was nowhere near silent, believe me.

"I've been…uhm," Armstrong managed to say through sniffling breaths. "I've been assigned as your legal guardian Ms. Ozear." I didn't reply. The warm June breeze hit my face as I looked down at the calla lily I held. I had been holding it so tightly the flowers stem had made an indention in my sweaty hand. Armstrong said nothing as I let the flower slip from my palm, not in the mood to lean down and place it on the grave. Finally I turned to face the Major.

"Was it dad's idea?" The Major took a moment to respond. Tears continued to stream from his tiny blue eyes.

"That I take you in?" He asked attempting to compose himself.

"Yeah." The two of us started to walk away from the cemetery. We walked in silence for a while before Armstrong finally answered my question.

"It was," Armstrong said somberly. "He told me…he told me what he wanted for you. For your future." I looked down at my shoes as I continued to walk.

"The military," I said softly. It wasn't a question. It had never been a secret, what my father had always wanted me to become

"No need to talk about this now Raya. Why don't we get you settled at the Armstrong-"

"I'll do it Major…" my voice was so small it almost sounded unearthly.

"Do what Raya?" I pushed a strand of my short red hair out of my face.

"I'll follow in my parent's footsteps. I don't mind." It was a lie of course. The last thing I wanted to do with my life was throw it into the military's lap. But at this point, I didn't really have any alternative. Armstrong stopped where he was and looked down at me with a frown.

"Are you sure you-"

"Are you going to train me?" My interruption caught Armstrong off guard.

"Train?"

"In alchemy. Like my parents?"

"Well I suppose so." Armstrong said after thinking about it for a few seconds. "That was the plan. Making you my apprentice seemed like a good idea when I agreed to it," Armstrong said as if in a dream. A pang of pain hit me as I wondered whether he had changed his mind n. I obviously had nowhere to go. I was pathetic.

"You don't want to teach me?" My voice was innocent and teary. The words struck a familiar chord with Armstrong.

"Of course I do!" He said in a low and proud voice. He straightened his back and stuck his chin up. "I shall be the greatest of all teachers! Don't think you're getting off easy because you're a kid either. I shall teach you the ways of the Armstrong family! Take you in as an honorary…." The man went on like that for the rest of the day. I listened to about 10 percent of it.

My mind was elsewhere.

As kind as Armstrong was to take me in, I knew deep down that I was just a burden to him. From that day onward I was determined to distance myself from everyone. That way I would never be a burden. I'd learn alchemy, I'd join the military, and I'd visit my parents' graves with pride. It all seemed so set in stone at the time. I'd like to think that I matured ten years that day, but in reality I was still just a kid and would be treated like one for years to come.

**4 years later  
Central **

When I had been younger, my mother used to be concerned that my imagination was too vivad. She feared my daydreaming would destroy my understanding of reality. Her concern only intensified the dreams. I used to dream of adventures in lands millions of miles from Central. In my head I traveled far beyond the borders of the state. It was my only real escape and in most situations my imagination kept me calm.

This was not one of those situations.

"Are you….You have got to be kidding me!" I yelled as the black haired Colonel kept a straight face.

"Is there a problem Ozear?" My eyes widened as I shoved the piece of paper in the Colonel's face.

"I thought I was going on a mission by myself?" My voiced cracked with frustration. Colonel Mustang smirked slightly.

"Obviously, the Fuhrer has other plans," Mustang said thoroughly amused. "You really didn't think we would send you on a solitary mission did you? You're only 14-"

"I'm aware of how old I am Colonel," I said through my teeth. The man cocked his head to the side.

"Well you would do well to remember it Ozear. Even if you are a member of the military now," he gestured to the silver chain hanging out of my pocket. "You are still a child." I ground my teeth together. He was my superior and would most likely have no problem punishing me for talking back. I took a deep breath to calm myself.

"Yes sir," I said as calmly as I could. Mustang stood and for a second I thought he might actually pat me on the head. He may have had the ability to get under my skin, but I could never get over how handsome he really was when I saw him up close.

"Don't take it out on me Ozear. I'm not the one who came up with the policy. I merely enforce it." He walked past his desk over to his bookshelf. Apparently he was no longer interested in the conversation. I looked down at the half crumpled paper in my hand.

_All new state alchemists will be assigned to experienced officers or fellow alchemists chosen for them by their superiors. This is by order of the Fuhrer _

"Are you said 'superior; then?" I asked exasperated. Mustang didn't seem to notice I was even there as he fingered through one of his books. "Colonel?" He still didn't answer. I sighed and plopped myself on his desk informally. "Could you at least just tell me who I'm assigned to? I'll leave you alone after that." Mustang slammed his book shut making me jump from his desk.

"Fullmetal," Mustang spoke so quickly I missed what he said..

"Sorry who?" I said shaking my head. Mustang pivoted on his heel and straightened.

"You have been assigned to the Fullmetal Alchemist." Mustang and I stood there staring at one another, my mouth agape, and my brows an inch above where they should have been. Then it came; that bubble of amusement that can overcome someone within seconds. It boiled deep within my stomach at first. Then it slowly crept through my veins, up my spine, consuming my composure.

"HAHAHAHA!" I couldn't help it. I leaned over and held my knees as the laughter burst from me. Who cared if Mustang looked less than amused? He was pulling my leg anyway. "Oh Colonel! That's just….that's hilarious!"

"I'm sorry. I think I missed the joke," Mustang said coolly. I slapped his desk.

"For a second there," I said through laughter. "I thought you were actually serious." Mustang watched me as I coughed from laughing so hard. I put up my hands. "Okay, but really, who am I assigned to?"

"Fullmetal." Mustang said emotionlessly. My laughter stopped immediately. No…he couldn't be serious! Fullmetal was only a year older than I was? That was most definitely not what I would call "more experienced". My face fell.

"But Colonel-"

"You will be following him for one year," he interrupted curtly. My mouth fell.

"What?" I yelled in a high pitched voice.

"One year. Beginning the day after tomorrow."

"You mean twelve months?"

"That's usually how many months are in a year, yes." He picked up a stack of notebooks as I rolled my eyes and scowled. "You'll take these." He handed me the stack.

"What are these for?" I asked, running my hands along the books' creases. "Studying?"

"They're empty," he said as he picked one back up and showed the inside to me. "You're encouraged to document your experiences, findings, anything you learn-into these notebooks. There's one for each month." He gave the notebook back to me and looked me in the eye. "Don't screw this up Collision." I flinched at the name the Fuhrer had bestowed upon me.

"Yes sir," I said softly but respectfully. "But can I ask something?" The Colonel shrugged.

"Sure." I swallowed hard trying to find the right words.

"Don't take this the wrong way Colonel but…" I couldn't find the correct wording.

"Well?" Impatience was getting the best of him. I had to be fast before I completely lost his attention.

"With all due respect sir, why was I placed with Fullmetal? Out of all the experienced State Alchemists, why Fullmetal?" I asked as respectfully as I possibly could. Mustang looked me over slightly before narrowing his eyes.

"Because I think it would be good for both of you," he announced sternly. "Well that and I kind of wanted to see how long it takes for the two of you to join forces." He smirked as I crocked a brow.

"What does that-"

"That's all Collision!" He yelled forcefully. I took a step back at his sudden remark. He saluted me and I returned the gesture with a sigh. This was ridiculous. "I expect you here tomorrow at 8 am sharp."

"Yes sir," I mumbled and turned away from the Colonel.

"Oh and Ozear," he called to me as I opened the door to his office. I looked over my shoulder and saw him look down at my shoes before he gave me a crocked smile. "Wear your heels."

**Thanks for reading and please please please….**

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	2. Collision of Strength

**Haru: I'm blown away by all the hits and views this fic has received in just a day! But reviews are much appreciated guys ^.^ **

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA**

**Thank you to my awesome beta Melodie!**

**Armstrong Manor**

"How'd it go?" My guardian boomed before I could fully walk through the door. I shrugged and hung my head low as he pranced to me with anticipation.

"Fabulous," I remarked sarcastically. Alex crossed his arms as I made my way up the large staircase. My headache had grown progressively worse since I had left Mustang's office, and at this point I wanted nothing more than to pass out in my room.

"Well aren't you going to tell me what happened?" Alex asked curiously. I closed my eyes and gripped the banister tightly.

"I'll tell you at diner," I said wearily. "I'm going to take a shower." Maybe I should have felt badly for leaving Alex standing there thoroughly anxious to know why I had been summoned by Mustang, but I was just wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. And I knew that talking about my situation at dinner meant I wouldn't have to relate my confrontation with Mustang separately to each member of the family.

I closed the door to my room and leaned against the doorframe, sighing. My room was my only escape from the "Armstrong" way of life in this house. I had strived to escape the usual extravagance of the manor during my four years of my living there.

My walls had been painted a light teal in an attempt to hide the hideous pink beneath it. Nothing about my room was interesting. An ordinary desk and chair sat in front of the large white framed window and a neat bed surrounded by stacks of unorganized books was tucked into the corner

This was the first time I'd ever really taken a good look at my room. Only two more nights here and then I was stepping off the cliff into the unknown. It was a void I had stepped into many times. As an adrenaline junkie, the idea of closing my eyes and letting fate do what it wished excited me to no end. I was convinced I had broken through my comfort zone-that I had no boundaries.

Perhaps that notion came from my extensive confidence or even from living with the proud Armstrongs for so long. At the time, I didn't realize that and I truly thought I was invincible. Anyone who convinces her/himself that he/she is fearless and can conquer anything is bound to have a slap in the face. It was just a matter of time before I received my slap.

"…the man had the audacity to approach me! Well you know what happened next," I half heard *former* General Armstrong boom at the diner table. Everyone at the table was obviously far more interested in the story than I was. Alex leaned over in his tiny chair and slammed his fist against the table with excitement. Catherine and I sighed in unison as we barely saved our glasses from falling off the table at the impact of Alex's fist.

"You gave him the technique?" Alex exclaimed, hardly able to contain himself. General Armstrong chuckled heartedly and pointed a finger at his son.

"Very good my boy! But let me get into more detail about this certain technique I used."

"Oh, please do, father! We would all be so honored!" Alex said deeply. My mind wandered elsewhere as the General relayed the story…again. _Only two more nights of this Raya_, I continued to tell myself. Every night for the past four years the Armstrong family and I would sit down for dinner, and hear the stories of the General's glory days. There were nights when I hung onto every single word that came from his mouth. He told stories of adventure and peril. I was truly jealous of this man and everything he had been able to experience. However his stories…I sighed. There seemed to be no end!

"Hey," Catherine whispered to me. "Are you okay?" I turned to the petite blonde's worried expression. Though Catherine and I did not always see eye to eye I had always considered her to be my sister.

"Oh. Yeah I'm fine," I said with a grin. As the General's story drew to a close, everyone's attention turned to me. Mrs. Armstrong pointed to my half empty plate.

"You're done eating Raya," the monstrously tall woman announced. "Time to tell us what happened today."

"Don't leave out any details now," the kindly General chuckled. All eyes were on me now, a rare and rather uncomfortable position for me to be in. I breathed deeply to keep my checks from reddening with embarrassment.

"Well," I trailed off. I knew they would be furious if I told them the news. For all my years in that manor I had been considered part of the Armstrong line; an honorary member per say. Alex had taken it upon himself to teach me all of the ancient techniques (or at least those that were deemed 'okay' to teach a non-Armstrong). Sending me on a mission with someone as inexperienced as Fullmetal was like shoving all of Alex's hard work back in his face. "I have a bad feeling you aren't going to be happy about this."

"Come now Raya! Every detail!" Alex sputtered and I averted my eyes.

"The…The Fuhrer as created a new law pertaining to new state alchemists," I said quickly with fleeting confidence. "This law states that all new state alchemists will spend one year as apprentices to more experienced alchemists." Alex let out a low sound of joy. I continued, trying to talk over him. "New alchemists such as myself are appointed their…for lack of a better word, masters by their higher office-"

"I would be so honored!" Alex yelled as he lunged from his chair and stepped toward me arms outstretched. Tears breamed his eyes.

"Alex," I said quietly.

"Just imagine it! All of the techniques I have yet to teach you!" Alex put his enormous hands on my shoulders. I attempted to turn in my seat but his strong hands prevented me from doing so. The other Armstrongs' looked upon the scene with pride. I had to get this over with.

"A-alex…wait a second." I stammered.

"For four years I taught you mere adolescent training! Now I can roll up my sleeves and show you the wondrous techniques passed down for many generations that will make every one of your superiors shudder with jealousy!" Alex exclaimed proud as a peacock. Eventually, I was able to maneuver myself from his grasp and stand. At the height of 5'5, my standing made little or no impact. Apparently my eyes are what shut people up.

"Alex stop!" I yelled at him sternly. I had planned on telling him the truth slowly, dripping with kindness and gentility. Instead I felt my body tremble with anger as words suddenly poured from my chapped lips. "I'm not assigned to you, Alex! That cocky bastard Mustang assigned me to some other teenager! The Fullmetal Alchemist," I mocked the name disrespectfully.

_I mean who the hell does this guy think he is?_ I screamed to myself. _Going around like he's some childhood celebrity? I bet the guy isn't even that amazing. I bet he just happened to get lucky and passed the entrance exam._

Alex's face brought me back to reality. Everyone in the room was staring with their mouths agape at me, but Alex was the one in tears. I had grown accustomed to Alex's sensitivity however the face he gave me at that moment was like a bullet in my chest. The pain I had so obviously inflicted on my dear friend disintegrated every bit of anger in me. He hung his head and strode out of the dining room without another word. My mind went blank as I stood there staring at the doorway where he had retreated.

"So," Mrs. Armstrong said rather normally. "When do you leave?"

"The day after tomorrow," I said hoarsely and turned to face the remainder Armstrong family. _Say something Raya! Say something meaningful or something to show your enormous amount of gratitude. You know they deserve it. _I closed my eyes as a pang of shame hit me. "I…Thank you. Excuse me," I said dryly as I made my way after Alex. A knot had formed in my stomach and in that moment I feared I would never be able to properly thank my adopted family for everything they had done for me.

I found Alex sitting in one of the many weight rooms of the manor. He held gigantic dumbbells in either of his hands and raised them with ease. Attempting to stay out of his way I leaned against one of the racks of weights behind him. Though it was obvious he knew I was there, he did not acknowledge my presence.

"Listen, Alex, I'm really sorry you had to find out that way," I said. Alex continued to lift his weights in silence. "I…I never thanked you for all that you've done for me Alex. I know my appreciation is a little over due but bear with me. You took me in, you taught me everything I know about alchemy, and you were always so kind and- "

"I made a promise," Alex interrupted. I stared at him. There were no longer traces of tears in his voice. He sounded steady and completely serious. "I made a promise to Murron and Kade." I shuttered despite myself as he said my parent's names. Their names had become sacred and as nothing more than curses in the manor. "An Armstrong always upholds a promise no matter what the circumstances." Alex said as he put down his weights and stood up straight, over shadowing me.

"I know," I said somberly.

"I promised I would keep you alive. Teaching you alchemy came second." Alex looked at me sternly. "I hope you know that I never felt teaching you was a burden. You have a flare about you. You have potential." He stopped for a moment. To my surprise tears did not seem to be forming in his eyes. "That's why I taught you. Not because I promised my best friend I would make something of his daughter. I did it because of this moment right here. The moment when I would be confident in your abilities and proud to call you my student."

If there was ever a moment in my life when I felt the sudden impulse to embrace someone, it was then. Hugging was a foreign concept to me and trying to get my arms around Alex was completely impossible. Even so our embrace was warm and heartfelt.

It was in that moment that I temporarily disowned Kade Ozear as my father and accepted that I was Alex's daughter. It was in that moment that I forgot about the unknown I was soon to dive into. It was in that moment that I realized that embraces speak much louder than words.

That was before I realized I couldn't breathe and remembered why I never dared hug Alex. He sure did live up to his name.

There are no words to describe how much I hate heels. With each clanking step I took toward Mustang's office I felt the mounting nervousness inside of me grow. My uniform had become exceedingly scratchy for some reason and sweat prevented my auburn hair from staying off my neck. Frustrated and still half asleep due to all the tossing and turning I'd done that night, I stormed right passed my comrades without a word.

"Damn Mustang," I muttered under my breath when I almost tripped in my heels. "Makes me were these stupid shoes. I'd like to see him try and walk through the halls of the military building in these things." I huffed when I turned the last corner before arriving at Mustang's door. I stared at the door for a minute, believing it might just disappear and I would be free to go home. Alas, the door opened and out popped the head of one Colonel Mustang.

"Morning Ozear," he said giving me a little salute. I returned it wearily before taking a step forward. As I did, Mustang stepped out from behind the door and blocked my way.

"Can we just get this over with Colonel?" I asked with a groan of exasperation. Mustang just stood there looking down at me with his handsome dark eyes and a sly grin on his face. "Sooo are you planning on introducing me to Fullmetal **outside** your office?"

"You wore your heels," Mustang said very pleased with himself. I rolled my eyes.

"May I remind you that you **asked** me to wear them?" I asked sarcastically. Mustang just smirked. I was almost able to look the bastard in the eye with those superfluous shoes. Almost being the key word because they only gave me about 4 inches extra.

"Indeed I did," Mustang said with a chuckle. Whatever little joke he was playing, made no sense to me in the slightest. I'd given up trying to understand Mustang a long time ago. "Alright then. Shall we?" With that the cocky Colonel pulled the door knob and opened the door to his office. The clink of my heels echoed through the room as I made my way in.

Now, I wish I could say something valuably meaningful about my first sight of Edward Elric. I wish there had been some kind of a sign. A sign that the moment our eyes met, cerulean against gold, neither of us would be the same. Any inclination that we had been destined to end up in that place at that time would have been nice. I'd like to say that deep down inside me that day I knew I was destined to be Ed's apprentice. Sadly there was no sign, no spark, and definitely no deep down feeling of destiny.

Disappointment flooded my veins. Shock dried my mouth. But most importantly, I was absolutely furious. So furious in fact that I was completely at a loss for words.

"Raya Ozear, allow me to introduce Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist. Ed this is Raya the Collision Alchemist." Mustang said the introductions bluntly. Neither Fullmetal nor I said a word. Awkward silence filled the room as I continued to stare down at the guy before me. He was something around 4'10 or maybe 4'11? And he was my master? Ridiculous.

"Yeah you would be the guy I'd get," I said before I could stop myself. The little teenager creased his brow.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Fullmetal crossed his arms. I caught a glimpse of Mustang smiling from the corner of my eye. Oh yeah this is really hilarious Mustang.

"It means I would be the one who got stuck with a pipsqueak for an apprenticeship," I said nonchalantly unaware of the reaction I might receive.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PIPSQUEAK WHO'S SO SMALL YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE HIM WITH A MAGNIFINEGLASS?" Fullmetal screamed at the top of his lungs while he threw his arms in the air.

"Um…that's not what I-"

"I'm not doing it," Fullmetal hissed through his teeth to Mustang.

"What do you mean you're not doing it?" Mustang asked as if he were innocent in this situation. Fullmetal pointed a gloved finger at me.

"She just insulted me! You think I want to deal with that for a year?"

"I concur," I said, putting in my two cents. Fullmetal glared at me. "What? You think I'm okay with this?"

"You better not be, 'cause it ain't happening!" Fullmetal yelled.

"It isn't," I corrected him. Fullmetal cocked his head and took a step toward me.

"Excuse me?" Fullmetal said with warning ringing in his voice.

"Never mind," I said with a sigh. I was not in the mood to fight this guy.

"You want to repeat yourself? Tell me I'm short again? Because believe me no one ever points out the obvious-!"

"Oh will you two shut up?" Mustang said closing his eyes. "Number one: No changes. You are assigned to one another and that is final."

"But-?" Fullmetal and I said in unison.

"Nope. Don't even try to persuade me. Number two: By order of the Fuhrer you two are not allowed to be any more than a mile from one another for exactly 365 days starting at 7 tomorrow morning." Fullmetal and I both hung our mouths open in shock.

"You have got to be kidding me!" I said as Fullmetal let out an obnoxious, "What?" Mustang looked at the two of us half serious half teasingly.

"And last but not least, number three: try and get to know each other before you try and kill one another. The last thing I need is two of my responsibilities dead. Ed, it's your responsibility to teach Raya, and Raya, it's your responsibility to learn. That's about all I have to say," Mustang said as he stood from his chair. "You guys get to know each other a little better while I go get some of your paperwork. I'll be back in about…oh I don't know…four hours." Before Fullmetal or I could say a word, Mustang was already out the door and striding down the hall with pride.

"Damn bastard," I hissed. Fullmetal's serious face lifted slightly as he glanced up at me in bewilderment.

"You got that right." Fullmetal looked away from me again. I smirked and reached down for my heels. The cold wooden floor felt wonderful on my tired feet.

"Well, at least we have one thing in common."

**Thanks for reading! And don't forget…**

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	3. Collision of Lucid Dreams

**Haru: 127 hits as of today…I have no idea what to say! Thank you! Merci! Arigato!..but I like reviews too…just saying :P Love you guys! Oh and I apologize for the shortness of this chapter. But sometimes the best things come in small packages. Edward Elric for examp-**

**Ed: WHO YOU CALLIN SMALL PAKAGE?**

**Haru: ….Anyway….**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA.**

**Thank you Melodie my awesome Beta! **

**Collision of Lucid dreams**

The shrill of shattering glass rang through the dismal room as the container of caramel liquid hit the floor. A man, perhaps in his late thirties slumped in his worn armchair, fully unsatisfied and obviously intoxicated. His raven black hair was oily and clung to his forehead, and it was clear he hadn't changed his clothes or shaved in days.

Reaching out he grabbed a picture outlined in a beautifully crafted wooden frame that lay sideways on the small table beside him. With one short glance, the man threw the picture across the room as if it were poisonous. The frame cracked only slightly upon impact, leaving the photo in tact.

In an act of drunken impulse the man stumbled from his chair to the innocent photograph. His chapped bottom lip trembled furiously and his body collapsed as he pulled a golden necklace from his neck.

Shrugged over the photograph the man clasped the necklace between his hands. Purple sparks illuminated the dark space around him for a split second before the light melted between his hands. The picture was destroyed.

"What are you doing?" A low and hushed voice asked in the shadows. The raven haired man turned his head toward the voice startled.

"I…I can't destroy it Alex," the drunken man said partially to himself. He absentmindedly fiddled with the necklace as he watched Alex take a few steps toward him. Alex glanced around the disgustingly untidy room and turned on the lamp. The other man flinched and fell against the wall covering his tear brimmed eyes. Alex remained seemingly expressionless.

"Destroy what Kade?" Alex asked. Kade struggled to his knees and held the necklace he had used to destroy the photograph. The Strong Arm Alchemist gasped at the sight of the necklace but quickly regained his composure. "Kade…I thought you buried that thing."

"I couldn't," Kade said dreamily his eyes growing wild. Suddenly he clutched the necklace to his chest and let out a blood-curdling scream. Alex watched on in terror and helplessness as Kade continued to cry. Kade looked up at his friend; his evergreen eyes had become blank and lifeless orbs. "She left…she left!" Kade's voice broke and he leaned over choking.

"That was Murron's choice Kade," Alex said as calmly as he could manage. "You know she couldn't take it-"

"NO!" Kade shouted weakly. He struggled to find his breath. "I don't know anymore. I have nothing anymore," Kade said with distress as Alex lowered his head somberly.

"You can't say that, Kade. You have Raya."

"Raya," Kade hissed through his teeth. "Raya is just a product of Murron. She's just another memory that I can't erase from my mind. Just another piece of her I can't bring myself to destroy." Kade said with a hollow laugh. There was a silence between them. Tension clung to every word the men uttered.

"This isn't you," Alex announced passionately. "You've stooped so low that you're allowing the alcohol to speak for you." Alex took a few cautious steps toward the quivering man who had once fought bravely beside him.

"Of all that we've learned over the years, Alex, as State Alchemists, as dogs of the military, we never once learned anything of any importance, did we?" Kade asked, letting out a disheartened chuckle. "There's nothing for us out there, Alex. What would the real world do if they knew our secrets?"

"You've gone mad," Alex said, astonished. Maybe it wasn't just the liquor talking. Liquor allowed the tongue to speak what it would not when sober. "If I could help you-"

"Kill me Alex," Kade interrupted smoothly. His comrade did not reply but bent down slowly and held out his right hand.

"Give it to me," the larger state alchemist said dangerously. Kade shook his head and let his hair cover his face.

"Kill me first."

"I have no intention of killing you. Now hand over the necklace." Alex reached farther and Kade recoiled. "You said you wanted it destroyed," Alex warned as Kade closed his eyes and loosened his grasp on the necklace. Reluctantly Kade placed the glittering possession into Armstrong's massive palm. Upon letting go, Kade's body fell limp on the floor before Alex could grab him.

"You said you didn't want to kill me," Kade whispered quickly and breathlessly. A smile crept its way onto his face. "We don't always say what we really want, Armstrong my friend." Alex waited for the man to say something else, something meaningful and inspiring. But Kade was not the kind of man who would have wanted his last words to be meaningful.

Alex closed his friend's eyelids and began to mumble to himself, completely unaware of the pair of blue eyes that stared at the scene from the hallow darkness.

"Daddy?"

My eyes flew open. It had happened again. That stupid dream never seemed to find its way out of my subconscious. I'd never understood why I couldn't dream like normal people. The idea of my memories taking over my mind frustrated and terrified me.

Snuggling under the covers and falling back to sleep seemed absurd at that point. I stepped over to my suitcase and dug through it to find my robe. After slipping it on and glancing at myself in the mirror I made my way to the kitchen.

The hallway was calm and tranquil, not even a creak in the floorboards seemed to awaken the house. Moonlight streamed in through the floor to ceiling windows. It was one of those moons that you have to concentrate on order to see if it's really full or not.

Full moons always seemed to satisfy people. Maybe it makes them feel as though they are a part of something greater than themselves. The moon seemed farther away than usual that night, and yet I imagined I could still feel the moonlight on my fair skin.

I was hardly surprised to find the kitchen was not empty. My muscular guardian was leaning against the marble counter top, a cup of steaming liquid in his hand. He only glanced up at me when I entered and walked to the tea cupboard.

"You're up late," I said drowsily. "Or early. Whatever time it is." I sighed and began to prepare my tea.

"Couldn't sleep. Bad dream," Alex grumbled. I stopped in my tracks and looked down at the tile floor.

"Same here." I prepared my tea in silence. It was normal for us to find one another in the middle of the night, awoken by nightmares. Or in both of our cases, bad memories. Those moments were bad the first time. Why did I have to live them over and over again when all I wanted to do is rest my brain?

"You nervous?" Alex asked in a slightly sarcastic tone. I jumped up on the counter top and sipped the somewhat bitter tea with satisfaction.

"Not really." There was another long pause. I'd like to imagine that we were thinking the same thing. That we'd miss those late nights chats. "But lets not talk about that right now."

**Haru: Yes I know. Short. But remember what I said at the top! I'd apologize for not updating sooner if I didn't have high school and life in general to answer to. But I will start the next chapter soon. That's one of the only good things about being sick! Ugh. Anyone else have the crap that's going around? Its not fun!  
Anyway, happy Valentines Day and I hope everyone has a wonderful week! Thanks for reading ^.^ **


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